I'm guessing you've heard of fight or flight as a shorthand for a stress response, but did you know there are several more F's? In fact, there are 9 stress responses that individuals might have. But this isn't like a one item per shopper situation. Rather it's much more a BOGO event. People frequently respond in more than 1 way. But before we dive into the diverse and complex responses we simple humans might demonstrate, let's look at each of the 9 stress responses.
9 F's Information
1. Fight
When we think of
fighting as a response to stress, we tend to think of some primitive humanoid hashing it out with an ancient, exotic, and extinct creature, but what does the "fight" response look like today? It could present as the typified "Karen" persona ready to argue with any and everyone, a Ronda Rousey knee to the gut of an attacker, a Claire Underwood sneak attack in the office, perhaps a Rachel takedown of Ross, or any number of scenarios. The point is that fighting can present differently depending on the scenario at hand. Another consideration of the fight response (or any of the responses really) is in our modern world we are constantly stressed. So, you are seeing these behaviors daily and all around you.
2. Flight
Are you someone who avoids conflict, even if you are certain you are in the right? When your partner is angry and argumentative, do you leave the room without a plan but find yourself suddenly driving to the nearest Target through streams of tears and snot on tap, seeking the infamous therapeutic effects of retail? You might be demonstrating the
flight response, especially if you continue to avoid conflict and refuse to address the issue at hand. The point isn't that you should She-Hulk out on anyone who dares bark at you; in fact, I highly recommend cooling off and addressing the issue after both parties have had a chance to de-stress. Rather, it is important that we are aware of our behaviors and realize that they are telling you something--you are too stressed.
3. Fawn
Hi, my name is Elle and I am a people-pleaser..., but I'm working on it. Maybe you're like me, and when someone treats you like a dumpster fire with mounds of garbage ablaze, you make it your personal mission to get them to like you... although you know you will never trust or care for them again. This people-pleaser response is very common among
women and other groups that may have a stark power differential. For example, a student who is constantly badgered and singled out by her teacher has very few options to respond on her own and may choose to do whatever ridiculous thing the teacher wants her to do, trying to win teacher over in order to neutralize the threat and decreases her stress. However, the cruel joke is by constantly
people-pleasing, stress levels rise rather than go down. Sure, people-pleasing might be an effecting one-off, short-term response, but a pattern of people-pleasing can lead to mental health challenges and an abundance of stress. Like each of these 9 stress responses, fawning (people-pleasing) is a short-term, instantaneous reaction that cannot solve ongoing problems....
4. Fright/Freeze/Fear/Flop
As it turns out, social scientists tend to be quite proficient in alliteration and creativity--case in point the plethora of "f" words representing certain stress responses. The most common phrase I hear is
freeze. No matter which term you use, the idea behind the term is the most important thing. When crises occur, some people just freeze up... unable to move their bodies, perhaps talk, or function in any meaningful way. To some, this response might seem completely unhelpful--a relegated token of our ancient ancestors. Yet, in dire circumstances, freezing (or playing dead) can be life-saving. For example, when a physical attacker has you completely trapped and outmatched, it may be best to freeze in order to lull the attacker into losing its literal or figurative grip on you, so you can break their grasp and perhaps flee in the future. But what is going on inside the mind of someone who freezes? Is their mind frozen too? No, actually.
Freezing is a sign of hypervigilance (just like fight, flight, or fawn)--meaning the individual is extremely alert and focused on each and every action of the aggressor. Individuals who freeze often instinctually do this when the aggressor in question is so threatening that the stressed individual believes there is no reasonable way to escape or win a fight. The problem with freezing in a stress-filled world is that doing nothing will rarely help you settle disputes, gain justice, or advocate for yourself. A pattern of this behavior might leave an individual with symptoms of a panic disorder and chronic underachievement.
5. Faint
Have you ever known someone who passes out at the sight of blood? Boy howdy do I know someone. My sister actually passed out in middle school because someone in her class had a pen that looked like a blood vial with fake blood. Why does this happen? How in the world could this paradoxical reaction benefit us? Evolutionary psychologists and anthropologists have a
few theories, but one of the most recent is that women (who pass out more than men when faced with high stress... though it's a rare response) do so because it has historically benefitted them and not their mates. During war, women and children are unlikely to be able to fight off or flee from their attackers. It's believed that due to this, women who passed out at the first sight of mortal threat (blood or a sharp weapon) may be spared from brutality and simply be abducted along with their children. Whereas during violent conflict, men tended to kill other men rather than capture them. In our modern world, this response can be quite dangerous. For example, a driver coming up on the scene of a bloody car accident may pass out and drive into disaster. However, this response seems to be more common on scary amusement park rides, or so YouTube seems to indicate.
6. Flood
Is this the same as having your life pass before your eyes? I don't know, but I do know that a flood of emotions can be debilitating. Some people might assume that flooding is the same as freezing. However, the difference between the 2 is that freezing includes extreme awareness of the threat; whereas,
flooding indicates being lost in thought. This flooding of emotions might be a way for you to process what's happening and searching your memory bank of feelings for similar past incidences that can provide you a framework to build a response atop. One thing is certain, our modern world is uninterested in emotional responses, which may lead those who frequently experience flooding feeling out of place, misunderstood, and lost.
7. Fatigue/Fall Asleep
It takes an extreme amount of
energy to be stressed. People who perseverate on how to fix the problem de jour may be particularly prone to over-extending their brain... leading to an automatic shutoff. Like any other part of the body, the brain needs energy to function. It gets this energy through glucose, a sugar that feeds the brain, and oxygen. The
brain is quite greedy and uses up about 10x more blood, oxygen, and glucose than it should based on its mass alone. Once glucose and oxygen run low, the body feels tired and an adult time-out in the form of a nap might be in order. This response is a mixed bag. On the positive side, it may allow an individual (think a baby) to self-soothe, gain the energy reserves they need, and work through their problem via dreams to address the problem more effectively once they wake. At this point, I'm reminded of the colloquialism, "sleep on it." I am someone who cannot sleep when I am stressed, so this one is pretty foreign to me personally, but my partner is one who sleeps in the middle disagreement--ugh! How annoying, right? In addition to annoying your partner, sleeping on the stress job may
consolidate traumatic short-term memories to long-term memories. These negative features of a fatigue response will be exaggerated in an overwhelming environment.
8. Food
Most of us have experienced issues with food when stress strikes. Perhaps you
eat more to self-medicate or perhaps you eat less due to being stuck in a hormonal trap that lowers your hunger drive. Both responses carry bodily wisdom, but can be weaponized against us should stress be constant. How can eating or not eating be a good thing? In terms of threat and survival, seeking fuel as a resource to calm and feed the mind may empower said eater to make more logical and thought-out decisions. It may also keep a feuding competitor from said food resources. Conversely, someone who loses their hunger during stress is ensuring that blood flow is sent to the muscles, lungs, brain, and glands that produce superhuman hormones. This body response allows such an individual to be ready to fight or flee. Yet, in the age of artificial intelligence and glorified NASA cars strolling on Saturn, hand-to-hand combat and Paul Revere-ing it out of there are rarely needed. And the stress just keeps coming like a conveyor belt filled with chocolate, leaving a kooky redhead protagonist (you are the kooky protagonist in this scenario... you're welcome) completely overwhelmed. At that point, redheaded Lucy has a choice to make: eat the chocolate or let it just keep on passing. When we fail to eat over time, we may become anorexic. When we eat food to self-soothe, over time we may develop a binge eating disorder and a whole lot of pounds we'd rather not have to carry around.
9. Funny Business/Fornicate/Flirt/F*ck
This stress response is the pinnacle (or climax if you will) of stress responses. The illustrious "makeup sex" stems from this stress response. While many people enjoy said cease-fire frolicking, it can lead to problem behaviors.
Sex is a funny thing that requires a perfect
balance of arousal/excitement and relaxation. The ancient dance begins with excitement and ends in feelings of repose. It is common for people to have sex or masturbate right before sleep to help calm their minds and bodies. This "calm" in the midst of a raging storm may temporarily placate those who are stressed out, but problems and (capital 'S') Stress won't go away via sexual relief. In fact, some people may avoid problems by frequently masturbating, consuming erotic material, or having risky sex. These behaviors are virtually always caused by stress and anxiety symptoms. Unfortunately, they also carry shame, relationship problems, as well as decreased health and wellbeing that adds to the stress and the problem behavior cycle.
Stress Response Combinations
Now that we've toured each of the 9 F stress responses, it should be noted that people are unique. They may demonstrate one stress response at a time, a mixture of responses in the moment, or a love-child fusion of several responses in response to one stressor. For example, a stressed woman may initially experience flood when confronted by her partner during a disagreement. Paralyzed by emotions, she may flee the room where she falls asleep. When her partner wakes her and wants to settle their disagreement, she may initiate sex to diffuse the situation and provide stress relief. In response to one threat, this scenario demonstrated 4 different stress responses. While this scenario is a tame one that is unlikely to be considered traumatic, these responses may stay the same--particularly in cases of domestic abuse and the abuse cycle.
In relation to the postpartum period and stress responses, any one of the 9 responses can be initiated or mixed and matched. For example, a mom who just had a traumatic birth may fawn over healthcare workers, telling them what they want to hear rather than the truth. This could present as underrepresenting the amount of pain momma is feeling. Mom may then be so frightened of her experience that she freezes when the baby begins to cry. She may then aggressively confront her partner, telling them to care for the baby... only to criticize each action. At this point, mom may realize she feels out of sorts during the fight response, and she may use food to try and self-soothe. These patterns can be unique to each mom and may morph over time. These symptoms of stress can be addressed in many, many ways. A combination of addressing the trauma as well as building new approaches and patterns to stress management should be initiated. An occupational therapist is an excellent choice for preventing symptoms of PTSD as well as building new and productive patterns of stress reduction. Psychotherapists are invaluable in addressing hard-to-treat PTSD that has already developed as well as helping you process your thoughts and feelings, harnessing them in a more wise way. There is help out there that so, so many women could benefit from.
Getting Help
As I close this post, I want to connect these 9 F's to postpartum PTSD (or PTSD in general). If following the birthing experience (or trauma) you notice a pattern of behaviors that match one or more of these stress responses, this indicates that you have high levels of stress. These high levels of stress may be related to PTSD and should be discussed with a mental healthcare provider and physician. Qualified healthcare professionals can assess you for PTSD, anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition. They may elect to provide you with medication, or they may send you to a specialist to assess you further for assessing medication needs. Primary care providers can also refer you to mental health services for counseling or therapy. The process is extremely common, and the services do more than save lives, they lead to happy and healthy children with good relationships, happy and successful marriages, and true relief for moms that last longer than a physiological stress response can provide.
If you find yourself being intimidated by the whole process, enlist a trusted individual to help you make associated appointments with your physician, clinical psychologist, psychiatrist, LMFT, licensed clinical social worker, or occupational therapist and then attend with you. If you don't know where to start, make an appointment with your family physician. In addition to the support of loved ones, support groups are there for you. Remember, a little support can go a long way. You can do this.
