My Birth Story of Baby #3

By the time I was having my third child, I thought I had the whole labor and delivery thing figured out. I was wrong. Something I've found out the hard way is that every baby, every pregnancy, and every labor and delivery are separate from one another completely. 

Even though I followed the same steps as I did for my second labor and delivery, the outcome couldn't have been more different. As I reflect back on this time, I can pinpoint the classic medical model (where healthcare providers make decisions for you rather than a collaborative approach) as being at the root of my birth experience. While I got lucky with nursing staff during my second labor and delivery, I got very unlucky with my third. Despite my healthcare providers' level of competence or care, I was completely vulnerable and at their mercy during both birthing experiences. 

Little did I know, I could have advocated for myself by speaking to the charge nurse and asking for a different labor and delivery nurse. Yet, in my defense, I was vulnerable, laboring alone, and my nurse was unresponsive to my call light and requests. I was completely unprepared for what to do in a situation like that. I trusted my healthcare team, and I suffered for that trust. It is little wonder that women in situations like mine develop not only postpartum PTSD but a complex form of PTSD... leading to problems with trust (among other signs and symptoms).

Based on this traumatic birthing experience, I had a completely divergent approach to my fourth and final birth. Learn more about the difference between my third and fourth pregnancies by watching My Birth Story #4. In that video, I weigh the pros and cons of my different approaches to birth: the mother-knows-best approach to epidural free birth, the surrender-to-healthcare providers approach, and the granola approach that I took with my final birth.